The Councils Final Decisions
by WithoutTheBeard
Summary: At the end of the council, they discuss their publicity plans


The Councils Final Decisions  
  
Elrond sat back down into his chair. His arms lying loosely on the arm rests while he took a deep breath. These nine had chosen a difficult path. He expected that they all would separate to their rooms to prepare for the journey they were faced with.  
  
Breaking Elrond's calm silence was a voice fro the nine, "Elrond, we still have not decided on a publicity plan."  
  
Elrond turned his head to the man Boromir who had spoken. He raised one eyebrow. He studied the human's face from its dark hair to its protruding arched nose to its thin pink lips. "What?" Elrond calmly questioned.  
  
"Well," Gimli cleared his throat to speak, "I think a basic publicity plan would cover it. My agent just finished those brochures for Moria so he should be free." He fished around in his pockets causing his chain mail to clink against itself. "Damn it!" the dwarf banged the little metal item he had retrieved from his pocket against his hand, "my battery is dead. Does anyone have a cellphone? I need to ask my manager."  
  
Legolas, with his young swift fingers, snatched a shiny silver phone from his pocket and flicked it open. Giving a contemptuous look at the dwarf looked at all of the nine and pronounced, "I definitely need to call my stylist all of you are in serious fashion violation and I need to get my highlights redone before a quest." Each of the nine looked at themselves and there clothes.  
  
"Aragorn as much as I like rugged men you have taken it too far." Legolas stepped closer to the man, "but you do have nice hair. I could definitely work with you." Aragorn saw a slight wink from Legolas but cleared it from his mind.  
  
The elf then looked at Boromir who was beside him. "Boromir you too covered up. Do not be afraid to show a little chest." Boromir's eyes widened with terror. Legolas rolled his eyes and continued down the line.  
  
"The hobbits are okay, but I think we need to work on the color scheme. I'm thinking Pippin would be a good blond." He said thoughtfully stroking his chin. Pippin pulled on one of his curls to see it in front of his face and concentrated to imagine it blond. "Frodo is really more of a summer. I'm not fond of the brown look. We need to find some new fabrics to compliment his skin tone. What about purple?" Frodo did not answer, but Legolas did not wait for him to give one either before he moved onto Gandalf. "There is definitely too much gray here." Legolas was pointing his finger up and down the wizard's robe.  
  
"I am Gandalf, the gray," He explained to Legolas.  
  
"That does not mean that we can not add a splash of color! I'll also have to buy you a razor." Gandalf paused for a second to think how to explain this, but Legolas had already moved on. Legolas stuck his short, light nose into the air and stated, "There is nothing I can do with the dwarf."  
  
"I'll do something with you!" Gimli lunged forward towards the elf grabbing a handful of fake blond extensions in his fist.  
  
Gandalf muttered something and twitched his staff making the elf and dwarf fly apart. "Enough! We will not need a stylist or a manager." Gimli and Legolas stood up. They did not attack again but growled softly under their breath. Legolas sadly gathered his hair extensions before Gandalf continued. "All we need is an artist to design the action figures and some one who knows how to make it so my toy staff will light up when someone touches it.  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" Elrond finally had heard enough. "The noble quest for middle earth in not some little sitcom! All of you should be ashamed of yourselves." Elrond quieted his voice, which he had been using to scream at them.  
  
All of them lowered their heads. A different voice piped up, "You know your right Mr. Elrond. We're are all going about it the wrong way." Sam stated quietly. The rest of the council nodded in silent agreement.  
  
Continuing Sam said, "Clearly what is needed here is a kid's cereal. I think Frod-O's has a nice ring to it. We could have marshmallows of the nine and little whole grain O's.  
  
"Ooo! Ooo!" another hobbit voice, this time from Pippin, started to speak, "I want to make up the jingle!" the little hobbit started to hop up and down and hum to himself.  
  
"If you think for a second I am going to have my lovely image floating around in dirty milk you are crazy." Legolas retorted.  
  
Elrond put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes until all of them had left. Gimli wandered off to find his cellphone charger. Legolas chased Gandalf way when he reached into his bag and pulled out a hand held blow dryer for the wizard's beard. Pippin was asking Merry if he knew something that rhymed with "creepy robed guys on horses" while Sam was telling Frodo about his ideas for new flavors for cereal like fish and taters. Aragorn and Boromir were walking away dazed and confused. Elrond put his head in his hands. The nine that would have to decide the fate of Middle Earth looked more like bickering 6th grade girls. "Middle Earth is doomed," Elrond muttered to himself. 


End file.
